“What You Focus On Grows”
I have heard this quote numerous times over numerous years.
For some reason these last few months it has pressed very heavy on my heart when it came to my marriage.
Honestly about a month ago I felt our marriage was heading into a really rough season if I refused to change somethings.
This past fall I was diagnosed with a autoimmune disease. After doing lab work I learned my testosterone had dropped to a 25. Which means I basically had NONE. So, there were a lot of things slacking and lacking if you know what I mean.
A little over a month ago I knew I needed to find a solution. Ricky is VERY understanding, but Ricky also has needs and deserves to feel loved. With us having four kids he really needed me to get my energy back too. I just wasn’t myself. I was tired, with no drive, and honestly probably depressed.
I decided to try the Biote Pellets. This is NOT sponsored! So please know this is truly just what I thought what was best for me in this season after consulting with my physician.
It’s been 6 weeks now and I just had my labs redone. My testosterone is at a 327 now. So, needless to say things are not lacking and slacking as they were. My energy is back and I honestly just feel good again! I’m going to have them drop it a little bit when I go back in 200-250 is probably a good range for me. So, I am a little over right now… Rickys not complaining though.
Ricky and I had to been on a trip with just us two since 2013. This weekend we decided to head to Ruidoso and stay over night. It was SO needed! Ricky is a really good guy, like really. Ask any of our friends. They all like him more than me, HA! (I’m not kidding) I knew I needed to put a focus on my marriage in this season if I wanted it to grow. This trip was SO good for us both! We had conversations we have never had. We got to have meals with no kids yelling at us. We laughed at all my ridiculous comments. We learned we both really LOVE the Hilton and are just not called for the camping kinda life. We are much more city than we ever thought we were. We both learned how to play “Craps” … I dominated, Ricky is more of a BlackJack kinda guy. All in all, it was a great trip! We only face-timed the kids one time, a few hours upon arrival, and then we just enjoyed the trip. I may or may not have cried myself to sleep missing Rush, but we’ll leave that detail out. I checked out of social media and just took in the moments. I can’t tell you how refreshing that alone was. Realizing not every moment had to be captured or shared, they were just sweet little memories Ricky and I will have. It was SO good for my soul!
I wish I could say I have this marriage thing figured out, but that would be a huge lie. What I can say is, “What you Focus on Grows” So, put some focus on your marriage. If you and your spouse have never done the “Five Love Languages” test.. DO IT! Rickys love language is “Touch” (A lot of men are) Mine is “Words of Affirmation” So, Ricky receives and gives love through touching… and no, this is not only done through sex. He loves holding hands, he loves for me to just put my hand on him, hug him, kiss him, etc. For me, it’s words. They carry all the weight in my world. I feel loved when Ricky tells me how much he loves me, more so than anything I love when he tells me he’s proud of me. It’s just my thing. Recognition. Has been since I was a little girl. He gets this about me and does his best to deliver. Knowing how your spouse receives and gives love can help you both to be effective with the other.
Take a trip together, more than once every five years! Make date night at least a monthly thing! It’s SO important to take time to just be together! Pursue one another. Fall in love with the things your spouse loves. Ricky is a HUGE LSU fan, so guess who LOVES LSU now? THIS GIRL! Actually, this whole family! We all LOVE Dads team and watching them play is a big thing in our house! I am obviously very active on Social Media, Ricky honestly can’t stand most of it, for many reasons. But, he knows it’s a big thing in my life and a place I go to be creative and share things I love, so he supports me in it! And that’s all I need!
One day I will share all the major heartache we have walked through to get to where we are today. Alcohol almost cost us our marriage in the first few years. The enemy almost used it to destroy our home. Praise God, we both found Jesus and no longer use substances to cope. We’ve walked through the heartache of miscarriages, loss, financial struggles, etc. And I’m sure there’s much more to come.
Ricky and I both have a heart for marriage though and making it work and finishing the race. So, I totally see us helping other couples one day. Right now we are still pouring in and strengthening ours, but maybe one day…..